EW Staff
December 13, 2013 AT 05:00 AM EST

“I couldn’t help but overhear you and the prince. Thin masonry.” —Grumpy (Lee Arenberg), after eavesdropping on Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) in the castle, on Once Upon a Time

“My karma for clicking on ’10 celebs with cankles’….. I was on it.” — Miley Cyrus on Twitter

“Sad is when the cabdriver thought I was Jaden Smith. I’m heartbroken.” —Mindy (Mindy Kaling) on The Mindy Project

“I was like, ‘I’m not going to cry. I’m so good.’ And I bawled so hard, like not-pretty Rachel McAdams cry.” —Kelly Clarkson, talking about her wedding, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

“We were totally fine half-assing our marriage ’til you showed up!” —Bernadette (Melissa Rauch), to temporary houseguest Raj (Kunal Nayyar), on The Big Bang Theory

“Plain and simple: Mean people need Jesus. They will be in my prayers tonight… 1 Peter 2:1-25” —Carrie Underwood on Twitter, after The Sound of Music Live!

“My first tweet. No longer a virgin. Be gentle!” —Stephen King on Twitter

“Don’t you have things to do? Vaccines to tout? Fat kids to encourage?” —Cyrus (Jeff Perry), to nosy First Lady Mellie (Bellamy Young), on Scandal

“How I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.” —Damon (Ian Somerhalder), to a scientist testing his body’s ability to heal itself, on The Vampire Diaries

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