This New Year’s Eve, celebrate in style with themed cocktails based on some of 2013’s most memorable pop-culture moments. Once we pop the cork on our cultural cocktails below, it’ll be likely “We Can’t Stop.” In fact, if you “Take Back the Night” with these themed libations, you’ll be having less than a 20/20 Experience… you’ll probably be seeing “Blurred Lines” (hey hey hey!).
In movies, Katniss & Co. are certainly clinking Catching Fireball shots to toast the second Hunger Games installment’s record-breaking opening. From Despicable Me 2, the year’s highest-grossing animated film, those bizarro Minions could be pacified with a few Purple Monsters. It goes without saying that many Anchorman aficionados are swirling a glass of Scotchy Scotch Scotch – maybe with a float of the dedicated Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor – at this very moment. Single ladies can find don the appropriate drunk goggles and prowl for a Tom Hiddleston approximation after downing a 4 Loki (4 Loko with Pimms). And, if nothing else, you can bank on the fact that Chris Pratt, newly chiseled for his Guardians of the Galaxy role, just wants a beer.
All those positives aside, plenty time-tested performers of the silver screen probably needed a drink this year. In the wake of After Earth’s apocalyptically bad domestic take, Will Smith felt the need to revive the Standard Fresh Prince by busting out several sad-making late-night rap performances. Not long after, Johnny Depp probably forfeited his favorite red wine for a stronger Lone Ranger after his movie of the same name was a box-office train wreck. And there’s no doubt the guys from R.I.P.D. could have stood an Undead cocktail or two with a doughnut chaser… ‘cause, you know, cops.
On a related note, as we transition film to TV, there was one connection: Zombies! From World War Z to Warm Bodies, The Walking Dead to The Returned, existence after death was de rigueur once again in 2013.
Moving to the small screen, TV-influenced imbibables will come in (mostly) primary colors, from a Game of Thrones-inspired Red Wedding – a Blood and Sand cocktail that substitutes Rain (of Castamere) vodka for whiskey – to a Breaking Bad-appropriate “Baby Blue” blend of Blue Curaçao and cava with a blue rock-candy garnish. (Fact: This concoction was served at EW.com’s unofficial Bad finale fête.) To celebrate Netflix’s game-changing year, a vivid yellow “There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand” daiquiri inspired by Arrested Development could come in handy while playing play the House of Cards drinking game – though an Orange (Crush) Is the New Black will also do the job.
For all 2013’s advancements in serialized storytelling, there was plenty of nostalgia bait afoot. In honor of the Veronica Mars movie, mix up a rum and Coke (skip the Rohypnol). Before Girl Meets World merits a frosty Rider Strongbow. And for every TV vet who succeeded (Zach Braff) or failed (Melissa Joan Hart, Zosia Mamet) to get a project off the ground, throw back a Kickstarter (a double shot of espresso spiked with espresso liqueur and topped with gold leaf) – the price tag is pretty steep (average $2 million or so), but it’s oh so validating.
Looking ahead, Cumberbitches in the U.S. can bide their time until their Internet boyfriend’s next project (20 days!) with another drinking game designed around Sherlock. And, when it comes to last call for TV, we can’t put up our 2014 calendars without acknowledging that someone actually made a bespoke Sharknado cocktail – and that it actually sounds delicious.
Musically drinking, Beyoncé’s surprise smash hit visual album conveniently included a collaboration with hubby Jay Z called “Drunk in Love,” so it only seems right to glug a Sex on the Beach while watching the steamy video. Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus’s outstanding achievements in tongue exhibition deserve some recognition, so stick your tongue down a tall Teddy Bear Cocktail. Let’s gloss over 17-year-old Lorde’s underage status and cheer her chart-topper with a “Royals”-teani (tea vodka infused with kiwi). And though, like Lorde, Justin Bieber is also too young to legally drink in the United States yet, but we’ll whip him up a real nice protein shake so he can keep posting those shirtless selfies.
In the aftermath of 2012’s baby boom, 2013 was a huge year for bouncing baby boys and girls. With The Waiting Game over, a North by North West cocktail is in order.* The Client List’s cancellation had a Happy Ending for Jennifer Love Hewitt and her costar baby daddy. Now that actress Kerry Washington is with child, Olivia Pope acolytes are probably handling a handle of their choice… or perhaps a tossing back a B316, which is like a B52… but the hangover will literally torture you. And let’s tip a tipple of Gorgeous George’s Mother’s Milk Punch in celebration of the birth of the future King of Great Britain. Drop enough of ‘em down your gullet, and you’ll be throwing out your arms like HRH George Albert Louis himself.
*Obviously none are these cocktails are recommended for babies, moms-to-be, nursing mothers, or sympathy pain-afflicted fathers.
In politics, several dust-ups have called for drink-away-the-shame option. May I suggest a boozy Edward Snowcone? It’s icy like Russia, and you can pour all your secrets in it, just like you would with any old nearby stranger after few too many, you lush. A Drink to Your Health will definitely be of use any time healthcare.gov crashes – but it’ll also come in handy in remembrance of October’s shutdown or to take the edge off when you suspect the NSA is spying on you. And is there any doubt Wendy Davis and Ted Cruz certainly drank several servings of Go-Go Juice before their respective filibusters? (To even out the energy jolt, a shot of vodka will do the trick.)
Viral-video obsessives will certainly lap up a Harlem Shake – a Harlem cocktail whipped up with pineapple soft serve. If you want to “Get Lucky,” combine a Daft Punk Gin with a side of Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream seems an appropriate nod to the man who took booking-disaster lemons and made Internet lemonade. Want to get silly? There’s no better way than with a What Does the Silver Fox Say? After a few rounds, you’re sure to be spouting plenty of nonsense and nonexistent animal sounds.
Finally to bid adieu to my personal pick for Entertainer of the Year Stefon, dive into a Jungle Jimbo. What’s a Jungle Jimbo? It’s that thing where you combine every drink I’ve listed above in giant trash can watch while it’s stirred by a little person named James.
With that, I encourage you to consume both alcohol and pop culture responsibly, PopWatch quaffers. Happy New Year!