Sure, Jason Biggs has a reputation for being candid – but he may have nothing on his wife, Jenny Mollen. Turns out, Biggs’ partner isn’t just an actress (best known, perhaps, for playing Angel’s werewolf girlfriend Nina on Angel); she’s also a writer who will publish her first collection of comic essays this summer. And if those pieces are as provocative as the article Mollen wrote for Cosmopolitan’s website, her book might end up causing quite a stir.
“First Comes Miscarriage, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Baby” opens with Mollen recalling the first thing Biggs’ mother said after learning that Mollen had gotten “knocked up” by her son: “You know you don’t have to marry her just because she’s pregnant?” That quote sets the tone for the rest of the piece, a mostly humorous chronicle of what happened when Mollen found herself suddenly pregnant just six months after she and Biggs started dating – then lost the baby three months after that.
As if it weren’t clear already, Mollen’s essay isn’t for the faint of heart. Here, for example, is how she describes the baby’s conception:
“Over Christmas, I vaguely remembered taking ecstasy, letting Jason finish inside me, then washing down a morning after pill with the next day’s breakfast. I gave no thought to the notion that I could actually be pregnant. I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant. I was 28 years old and I’d never been on birth control. Granted, I never let guys finish inside me. But it was the holidays, and I guess I was just feeling festive.”
And this is how she reacted after seeing her first positive pregnancy test. (She and Biggs were vacationing in Vermont at the time.)
“I spent the rest of the trip skiing like I was a stunt man in a Warren Miller film. I darted in and out of trees without braking, tried to complete an entire run on one leg, and even attempted a jump I’d researched on YouTube known as a ‘Screamin’ Semen.’ There wasn’t any point in holding back. As far as I was concerned, my life was over.”
Ultimately, though, Mollen decided to keep the kid – and to stay with Biggs for the long haul. Though her family was “initially concerned” about their future, she writes, they “warmed up to the idea once they realized Jason was rich.” (Here, as elsewhere in the essay, Mollen declines to say why her boyfriend was wealthy, or what he does for a living – though the truth isn’t exactly a secret, you’ve got to admire how she resists the urge to drop names.)
Even so, things weren’t easy for Mollen and Biggs: “As my hormone levels continued to rise,” she says, “so did my paranoia.” Her anxiety built to a fever pitch right before a routine doctor’s visit, culminating in a dramatic screaming match with Biggs – one that suddenly seemed much less important once the couple arrived at the doctor only to learn that their baby “had deemed us unfit parents.” This is where things finally get serious, though the piece does end on a happy note: Biggs and Mollen got married soon after losing the baby, spent a few years “feeling young, skinny, and like we could do ecstasy without accidentally murdering anyone,” then decided to try for a baby in 2013. This time, everything looks good; Mollen is currently 36 weeks pregnant.
Mollen says that upon learning she was pregnant again, she “didn’t particularly feel any more prepared, any less afraid, or any more certain Jason wouldn’t eventually attend Burning Man.” She did, however, feel “ready to have [her] life hijacked” – a far cry from the “Screamin’ Semen” days. Read the full essay at Cosmopolitan.