Annie Barrett
January 13, 2014 AT 05:39 AM EST

I took way too many photos of my TV screen during the Golden Globes. Some of them made the cut. (Who can say what “some” means, really?) Join me in a visual adventure through Tina and Amy’s gladiating, Martin Scorsese’s unbridled enthusiasm at a vagina joke, Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gluttony, and more:

Switch hit: Amy Poehler really did look amazing tonight.

Mark Burgess

Tina and Amy’s Scandal/Blue Steel moment: Chilling!

Everett Collection

Lots of cuts to intense Jon Voight in the audience. Is this why Jennifer Lawrence was scared?

Jeff Swensen/Getty Images; Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

Elisabeth Moss (Best Actress in a Mini-Series) had a big night: Flipping off E!’s mani-cam….

announcing “Holy Sh*t!” …and demonstrating the proper way to use tongue.


More wine, Liv? (Not the pregnant actress. Her character.)

Jaime Hernandez

Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie’s “Hey, why are you guys all naked?” deer-in-headlights reaction to a teleprompter meltdown:

Can Alex Ebert (Best Original Score, All Is Lost)’s hair count as an up-do? It’s glorious.


Julia Roberts never leaves this position during any speech — the incredibly intrigued office temp is ready to take on whatever bold new administrative challenges you can throw at her.

Totally off-topic, but Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale’s daughter is very Shannen Doherty in Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

Finally, a boozy shot. I wanna be at THIS table.

Amy Adams gently but firmly scolds the un-feeling music robot for playing her off.


Amy Poehler plays Randy, the love child of Tina Fey and…. some celebrity. Who’s the daddy? It’s not Idris Elba. I’m going Zac Efron.

Mitchell Haddad

Emma Thompson furthers her status as every woman’s hero by shakily clutching her heels in one hand and a martini in the other.

Mitchell Haddad

“Pssssst. Act more excited,” a phantom limb encourages Lorne Michaels following Andy Samberg’s Best Actor in a Comedy win for Brooklyn 99.

Everett Collection

Zoe Saldana’s dress has truly inspired me to take up rock climbing.

Mitchell Haddad

“On Sundays, we eat hot dogs.” Mean Girls Tina and Amy taunt Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who’d table-hopped from the glamorous Movies section to the concession stand-quality TV section.

Mitchell Haddad

Love is blindness: Bono gets more action than anticipated from Poehler as she wins Best Actress in a Comedy for Parks and Rec.

Mitchell Haddad

“That was. Lit-ruh-ly? The greatest speech I’ve ever heard.” –Rob Lowe, proud owner of a flattop.

Mitchell Haddad

I see sperm on Emma Stone’s dress, but I’m probably just looking for it.

Jon Furniss/

“Herpes…” “Earpiece…” — it’s all the same in zero Gravity! Sandra Bullock delights in director Alfonso Cuarón’s Best Director speech.

Mitchell Haddad

“So what did you think of my new album?” –Jared Leto

Martin Scorsese’s extended, full-out cackle after Tina Fey delivers solid gold: “Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Johnny Depp’s pocket chain and Hot Topic-y shoes: The dream of the ’90s is alive in L.A. (all the hot guys wear glasses)….

Vania Stoyanova

Inside Llewyn Davis’ Oscar Isaac pouring water like a waiter before a commercial.

Frank Micelotta

Matthew McConaughey “dances,” sort of, with Jessica Chastain. Is it a dance? Olympic Curling? Only a true detective would know for sure.

Neck peck! 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen gets some love while accepting for Best Picture, Drama.

Red carpet honorable mention: Hayden Panettiere needs to take after her Nashville character and own her fashion sense — Juliette Barnes NEVER shies away from a thong neckline.

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