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Ariana Bacle
January 24, 2014 AT 02:59 PM EST

Sure, Justin Bieber may have endangered lives when he was drunk driving and drag racing in Miami. But he gave late night some great material last night, so for that, we can thank him. Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Conan O’Brien all took the opportunity to rag on America’s favorite/least favorite 19-year-old, and here’s what they had to say:

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

“Justin Bieber was arrested today in Miami for drag racing and drunk driving in a rented Lamborghini, which is pretty surprising when you hear that the only race car he had ever been in before that was his bed.”

“That’s right, Bieber was arrested for drunk driving in a Lamborghini. He’s facing a pretty stiff penalty. They’re saying he can get up to two years of being his own neighbor.”

“I don’t know if I’m looking at a mugshot or a Proactiv commercial. He’s so excited to be arrested.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

“He got up on the car to wave to his adoring fans, as if he was at a movie premiere. What does that remind me of? Yes, that’s exactly what that reminds me of. When Michael Jackson was… [shows picture of Michael Jackson waving to fans on top of his car] so that’s a good sign.”

“Shirtless, cocky, pants half-off, tattoos. Based on my projections, this is what Justin Bieber will look like in 2018. [shows picture of Vanilla Ice]”

“I think between the first and second picture they took away his juicebox or something.”

“Just when the streets are finally safe from Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber comes out of nowhere, arrested in Miami Beach… and he’s in trouble with his grandparents for not stopping by to visit.”


“The police report described him as five foot nine and 140 pounds. Or as his cellmate put it, just right.”

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

“President Obama announced today that America’s number one domestic terrorist has been apprehended. They finally arrested Justin Bieber. We don’t have to live in fear anymore!”

“Justin was caught going 60 miles an hour in a Lamborghini. Hey, Justin, it’s called second gear, try it some time. But to be fair, it is Florida, so anything over 20 miles an hour is considered drag racing.”

“Bieber told police he had consumed alcohol, smoked marijuana, and taken some prescription medication. Or as Toronto mayor Rob Ford calls that, a light snack.”

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