Annie Barrett
March 03, 2014 AT 06:29 AM EST

These Oscars were unusually lacking in memorable reaction shots — perhaps Amy Adams’ quick iPhone-check sums up the whole show?

Below, my quick play-by-play of the Oscars’ (arguably) least significant details:

I’m enjoying the symmetry between Anna Kendrick’s waistline and Amy Adams’ earrings:

If Lupita Nyong’o’s earrings are attached to her headband, her Cinderella story will be complete:

AmEx commercial scandal: None of Tina Fey’s credit card charges actually go through.

The Oscars sponsored by… Haribo? So many gummies!

“No, no, I won’t get up.” -Meryl Streep to Pharrell’s hat

Amy Adams’ killer dance move would turn out to be her shiniest moment:

Alright alright alright. There he is. How could someone so “dirty-pretty” look so shiny and clean?

One of my favorite Oscar Cams so far is Travolta, Cumberbatch, and Oh Thank God That’s a Hat:

Better tone down the humor, Ellen, or Julia Roberts is going to eat Meryl Streep!

Cate Blanchett and Blue Jasmine costar Sally Hawkins team up to wear the most expensive tablecloth in the world:

Jared Leto then and now: “He leans great.”

Jonathan Hayward/AP

Fun fact for youngsters: Kim Novak was such an Elsa back in the day.

How the heck did Ellen miss pregnant Kerry Washington during her initial pizza lovers roundup?

Just one of many mid-show deep cuts to TV’s Rust Cohle. “Montage is the cruelest animal,” he’s probably thinking:

PHILIP FRIEDMAN for EW

Jennifer Lawrence seems to be a House of Cards fan after Kevin Spacey’s in-character intro. She’s kind of a house of cards herself whenever she wears high heels.

PHILIP FRIEDMAN for EW

Is that a tiny diamond watch on Tyler Perry’s lapel? (No one cares; I agree this one is the worst):

Amy Adams mirrors my own review of the Oscars at the halftime buzzer:

Jesus photo-bombs the rich and powerful at Ellen’s Selfie Station:

Two collar-stars lift Michael B. Jordan’s tie into a shy smile:

Lupita Nyong’o: Your dreams (of maximum statue sparkle) are valid!

Delivery’s here! Thank God. Some of those pizza waiters were HOT.

Ellen’s Glinda costume evokes both “Burger Queen” and “butterfly”:

Peter Kramer/AP

While a tickled Edge (of U2, and what a concept, a tickled edge) rivaled June Squibb for Most Sparkly:

I don’t remember Jennifer Garner and Benedict Cumberbatch’s characters in The Great Gatsby, but they must have been there amidst the elaborate production design. Happy sigh for that illustrious tiered fringe!

Idina Menzel’s bracelet won’t “Let It Go” (her ring):

Jessica Biel’s gown was replete in ’90s/Saved by the Bell confetti:

An exclusive close-up of how politics work:

I like how Bill Murray shakes an imaginary tambourine instead of clapping:

Ooh, Laura Dern’s hair. If this had been Amy Jellicoe’s ‘do, maybe Enlightened wouldn’t have been cancelled?

The handsomest hug of all time?

Warner Bros. Pictures; Ray Tang/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images (inset)

Waiter, my ass! Brad Pitt eagerly chows down along with the rest of us content-starved bloggers:

‘Til next time, pizza lovers! Which screen gems did I miss tonight?

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