The Expendables 3 hits theaters Aug. 15, but in the meantime, there are 16 character portraits to entertain you. The only thing that would make their message clearer — think of this as the ultimate summer popcorn movie! — is if there were a Real Genius-level explosion behind each of them. Who’s happiest in these posters? Let’s see. Then check out the new “roll call” trailer.
1. Obviously, Terry Crews wins. He probably would’ve shot popcorn out of that gun if you’d asked him to. Which is why we look forward to seeing him on the media tour.
2. Antonio Banderas. It’s all about the hat.
3. Ronda Rousey. The badass costume manages to incorporate the sexy cutout fashion trend.
4. Dolph Lundgren. It’s about time he comes off the coolest.
5. Jet Li. A man who travels light.
6. Jason Statham. My mother is going to Facebook this photo immediately.
7. Randy Couture. The rolled-up sleeves show off his bicep when really, all we can stare at is his forearms.
8. Glen Powell. He must have really made an impression as Trader #1 in The Dark Knight Rises.
9. Victor Ortiz. The superhero-esque bulletproof vest is the best.
10. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wearing that stubble well.
11. Harrison Ford. Is that a leather onesie?
12. Kelsey Grammer. He had to look this serious to compensate for his fishing attire.
13. Kellan Lutz. He’s either serious about protecting the family jewels or he just wet himself.
14. Sylvester Stallone. Those veins in his arms look like they hurt.
15. Wesley Snipes. We’re thinking he’s good with knives.
16. Mel Gibson. The big bad can’t smile.