Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Leah Greenblatt
April 06, 2014 AT 12:00 PM EDT

“There’s20 million dollars worth of hairdos out here and it all has confetti in it. This is not a Head & Shoulders commercial, everybody.” —Luke Bryan, after show openers the Band Perry unleashed their confetti guns on the A-list front row.

“If you don’t like live music, then you need to go down the block and see Britney Spears.” — Blake Shelton in the opening monologue

More like Entertainer of the Minute… And I’m spottin’ you 30 seconds.” — Luke Bryan, after Blake Shelton said wife Miranda Lambert would consider him Entertainer of the Year.

“BO-RING.” — Bryan and Shelton, at the idea of including Tim McGraw in a group selfie.

“I was beginning to think there might be a height requirement for this award.” Justin Moore, who is 5’7″, accepting the New Artist of the Year prize.

“Thank you, robots!” — Miranda Lambert, after accepting her Single Record of the Year award from  presenters “Daft Punk” (a.k.a. cohorts Bryan and Shelton, in DP drag).

“I just want to say that I’m really proud to be a woman representing country music” — Kacey Musgraves, collecting the Album of the Year award.

“Thank you very much. I’m a little taller than this.” — the always-laconic Merle Haggard, accepting his Icon Award from a low podium.

“Tonight is more than just an awards show — it’s our audition to replace David Letterman. Do you think that’s gonna happen?” — Luke Bryan to cohost Blake Shelton.

“I always said I had the best fans in the world, and I heard this was a fan-voted thing so… I rest my case.” — George Strait, accepting his Entertainer of the Year prize.


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