Colin Hanks |


Colin Hanks

After committing many murders on ''Dexter,'' Hanks is now trying to solve a few on FX's ''Fargo.'' As well-meaning but hapless police officer Gus Grimly, he's seeking answers about lethal mystery man Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thornton). We decided to bring in the 36-year-old actor for questioning of a different kind.

1. Which of these classic buddy-cop duos do you want to join forces with?
A. Riggs and Murtaugh
B. Starsky and Hutch
C. Cagney and Lacey
D. Crockett and Tubbs
E. Tango and Cash
Gus needs to kick it with Crockett and Tubbs, because he is looking a little pale — and has probably never been on a cigarette boat.

2. Gus recently revealed that his dream was actually to be a mailman, not a cop. What was your secret career aspiration?
I wanted to get into radio. Not to be a morning DJ but more like a midnight radio DJ, spinning obscure records and stuff like that. Has a really cool-sounding voice, but when you see him in person, he’s disappointing.

3. If you had to spend a million dollars frivolously, you would…
…finally fund my Tower Records documentary.

4. You played a serial killer on Dexter, but in real life, you’re a serial _____.
Napper. Big on the naps: long, deep, ”What day is it when I wake up?” kinds of naps, to the quick little 10-minute power naps, to napping while in costume. I call it the mummy nap so that it doesn’t mess up my hair and makeup. I can pretty much do it at any time in any place. It’s also my superpower.

5. Voice you’d love to have on your car’s GPS navigation system:
Mr. T. ”I pity the fool who doesn’t make this left turn!”
It just makes perfect sense.

6. Reality show you would dominate:
If there were one about naps, I’d be really good. And a lot of people seem to sleep on Big Brother, so maybe Big Brother?

7. If you were to go down in a tabloid scandal, which would you prefer?
A. Instagram Controversy
B. Paparazzo Punch-Out
C. Secretly Taped Conversation
D. Elevator Fight
I would be doing something that I would think everyone would clearly assume is a joke, and someone would say, ”That’s not a joking matter.” I would take a picture of me slipping a dollar bill to a referee at a hockey game — and then I’d be banned from hockey games for life.

8. You played a priest on Mad Men. To which character would you most like to confess your sins?
Probably Joan. Everybody confesses everything to Joan. Although deep down I’d want to go on a soul-searching trip with Roger. He’d probably make fun of me. But it would be fun. And mind-altering.

9. If you had to remake one of your dad’s movies, it would be…
I’m not touching that. [Laughs]

10. Person you’re often mistaken for:
I got Eddie Kaye Thomas for a while. Drunk people tend to call me S—brick from American Pie. I tell them ”Thank you.” And that I’m going to find a clean bathroom.