Vin Diesel is currently hitting the publicity trail for Guardians of the Galaxy, the movie where he finally plays a talking space tree—but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about his roots, because the only thing that really matters in this life is family because without a family a man doesn’t have a code, vroom vroom! Thus, during an interview with France’s Skyrock FM, Diesel revealed a bit of casting news for Fast & Furious 7, which is unquestionably the most important sevenquel coming out in 2015.
Diesel was asked which song he would prefer to dance to: Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle,” Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy,” or Ariana Grande’s “Problem.” Clearly not wanting to take sides in the Grande-McCurdy feud, and possibly not knowing what a Jason Derulo is, Diesel opted for Azalea. “I just worked with her two weeks ago,” he said. “I guess you’ll be the first person to know this. She has a cameo in Fast & Furious 7.”
Azalea is hardly the first musician to ride with the automotive franchise. Ja Rule cameo’d in the original 2001 film as a drag racer, back when you could just write “Ja Rule” and people knew vaguely who you were talking about. Ludacris played a helpful man-to-know in 2 Fast 2 Furious, before basically becoming the franchise’s Q in Fast Five. Bow Wow has a ridiculous green car in Tokyo Drift. Puerto Rican singers Tego Calderon and Don Omar joined the crew as Scott Caan and Casey Affleck, basically, in Fast & Furious. And Rita Ora cameo’d in Furious 6 as, like, herself maybe? (Supposedly, Rita Ora’s part was originally offered to Rihanna, although it’s unclear if it was “offered to Rihanna” in the same sense that everything gets offered to Jennifer Lawrence just in case.)
Diesel explicitly said that Azalea just filmed a cameo, so she’s probably not joining up in any major capacity with the Toretto Crew or whatever presumably-villainous group of people surround Evil Statham. That means Azalea’s part is probably closer to the Ja Rule/Rita Ora/Ludacris-in-2-Fast school. Azalea is a native Australian who has spent the last few years branding herself as southern hip-hop artist, which fits weirdly perfectly in the Fast series’ globalized-Americana aesthetic.
We know that the film takes place partly in Abu Dhabi and Dubai; could Azalea be essaying the small-but-pivotal role of an international Woman of Mystery, sort of/exactly like Léa Seydoux in Ghost Protocol? Perhaps she’s playing an Australian assassin who works for Jason Statham, and she gets sent to kill Tyrese, and there’s a funny little scene where Tyrese fights her while he’s flirting with her (dialogue improvised on-set by Tyrese, natch). Or maybe there’s a scene where Michelle Rodriguez needs to defeat someone in a car race through the streets of Atlanta—don’t ask why, it’s because of the plot—and Azalea is playing one of the other racers, and her car is painted in retro blue-and-pink Miami Vice colors, and when Azalea loses the race she calls Rodriguez a “basic bitch,” and then Rodriguez punches her unconscious and says something like “And you’re a bitch, basically.”
Anyhow, vote-guess below: