Hillary Busis
August 01, 2014 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Ingredients
6 years of archived Goop newsletters
1 dozen old Anthropologie catalogs
4 oz. carefully tousled fishtail braids
5 photos of an old woman’s hands covered in clay
1 awkward reference to enchiladas
1 reminder that ”we are aware that a lot of what we are selling is outlandish in a world where people are starving and have nowhere to sleep”
— just, like, a whole bunch of mason jars
— alliteration, to taste

Preparation
Step 1 Gradually fold together all ingredients in $70 ”Everyday Bowl.”
Step 2 Mix with sense of self-satisfaction until just combined.
Step 3 Pause to snap Instagram shot; vintage filter is recommended.
Step 4 Serve raw, preferably at Coachella.

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