Ariana Bacle
October 14, 2014 AT 02:23 PM EDT

Shia LaBeouf grabbed Alan Cumming’s butt. And that’s only a small part of the story behind his June arrest.

The Fury star went on Jimmy Kimmel Live Monday night and explained how he got arrested during a performance of Broadway’s Cabaret, starring Cumming and Michelle Williams. And it all, not surprisingly, started with whiskey.

“I had been drinking a lot of whiskey in Ireland, I come back, I land, and it’s the World Cup,” LaBeouf said. “And you drink a lot of whiskey during the World Cup, it seems.”

LaBeouf took a break from the bar to smoke a cigarette and ended up meeting a homeless man, who he chatted up until a passerby took a photo of the two and caused the man to run away. So, naturally, LaBeouf chased after him to tell him everything was okay. “He wanted nothing to do with me, but I’m not giving up,” LaBeouf said.

LaBeouf never caught up to his friend, but he made a new one: A dancer from Cabaret, who invited LaBeouf to that evening’s show. LaBeouf, wanting to “turn it up a bit,” went to the performance, where he drank more and didn’t quite understand that he was at a formal, live show.

So when Cumming lit up a cigarette onstage, LaBeouf followed. Then when Cumming walked by, LaBeouf gave him a pat on the, uh, butt. “I give him a slap on the ass, because I think he deserves it. He’s seducing me, he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

The story—which also includes how LaBeouf morphed into Tupac at the station and was gifted a McDonald’s egg sandwich by the police—ends with LaBeouf leaving jail after a 25-hour stay. Moral of the story: Don’t drink whiskey, Shia.

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