Lanford Beard
October 22, 2014 AT 09:26 PM EDT

With reports that Jennifer Lopez may be signing a two-year deal to perform at Planet Hollywood’s The Axis—at a whopping $310,000 per show, no less—the buzz has begun about what to expect from a potential residency. Though Lopez’s publicist could not confirm the booking at time of press, the rumored residency would land Lopez in the theater currently occupied by Britney Spears. And, after nearly 10 months at her sit-down, Britney could teach J.Lo a few things about how to put on a great show.

1. Show us your hits!

Britney was wise in sticking to the her A-list, musically speaking. Though J.Lo’s acting career has meant her repertoire is slightly skimpier than Spears’, 15 of Lopez’s solo hits have landed in Top 40 (and four of those topped the charts), which is plenty to make a set when rounded out with some of her better known collaborations and perhaps “I Could Fall in Love” as a nod to her breakout turn in Selena.

2. Dance like we’re all watching.

Like Britney, J.Lo first caught our eyes thanks to spectacular choreography. Though Britney has literally stumbled at time, her dancing was exhilarating in Vegas. Even better for J.Lo, her dancing has remained on-point these last 15 years, so there is zero reason she shouldn’t make movement a centerpiece of her show. One suggestion: Get someone more seasoned then on-again, off-again boyfriend Casper Smart; championing a chorus-boy lover didn’t work out for Britney, and it hasn’t worked out for J.Lo during her relationship with Smart.

3. Get ready for your close-up.

My biggest complaint about Britney’s show was a complete lack of stadium-style jumbotrons zooming in on Britney’s face for patrons in the cheap(er) seats—even though the huge theater’s entire walls were used as projectors. In the middle section of the theater, I was only able to see Britney from a blurry, full-body perspective. Sure, in Britney’s case, this was probably a tactic meant to cover any lip-synching slips, but that shouldn’t be a problem for consummate pro J.Lo. What’s more, given how age-defyingly telegenic she remains at 45 (and fabulous!), she should make a priority of giving her fans a show that includes all of her best angles. Related: Give us, give us more—when it comes to costumes.

4. Keep the same serving sizes at the bar.

Because who doesn’t want a 24-ounce cosmo? And yes please, I will pay $5 extra for that souvenir cup (and use it every night once I get home).

5. Place the merch front and center.

The night after I attended Britney’s show, I was walking around Planet Hollywood and discovered a huge gift shop full of “It’s Britney, bitch” paraphernalia that wasn’t prominently displayed inside the theater. The shop was closed. My heart was broken all the way to the bottom. So make sure your fans can see those “Booty” shorts, “On The Strip” totes, and “Let’s Get Loud” portable speakers, J.Lo. Your fans will cherish them. (Also, your team can send royalties for those phenomenal ideas to Lanford Beard c/o Entertainment Weekly, thanks.)

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