Hillary Busis
November 07, 2014 AT 05:00 AM EST

Mallory Ortberg
@mallelis

”Two sociopaths look exactly alike. #sweetvalleyhigh”

”A conscientious mother successfully ensures the economic futures of her daughters. She is never thanked for it. #prideandprejudice”

”A college student does not let his hatred for his mother and her new husband keep him from living in their house and accepting their financial support. #hamlet”

”A horrible racist with a collection of beautiful hats gets away with everything. #gonewiththewind”

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