Neil Janowitz
January 06, 2015 AT 07:13 PM EST

Sunday night’s Downton Abbey season-five premiere featured a secret love child, an indecent proposal, and a shocking admission.

What it didn’t include was Lady Edith, Mrs. Patmore, and Mrs. Hughes playing Cards Against Humanity. We present that footage, complete with Mrs. Patmore’s inimitable reading of the “Farting and walking away” card, for you here.

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