Loads of people, from celebrities to normals, can be funny on Twitter. But authors—with their particular word choice and deliberate turns of phrase—are some of our favorite people on the chirpy platform. The problem is, Tweets flit by so quickly, you’ll miss a great joke if you stop to blink. So for your chuckling pleasure (and our own), we’re rounding up the best author tweets of the week.
In this edition of This Week on Twitter: John Green attends a preschool graduation, Roxane Gay sums up our feelings on The Rock, and Rainbow Rowell prefers the Sorting Hat to astrology:
The Buddha says suffering always comes from the inside, but did the Buddha ever suffer through a preschool graduation?
— John Green (@johngreen) June 3, 2015
The Rock is so meaty.
— roxane gay (@rgay) June 4, 2015
who will write the definitive essay explaining how/why Xander from Buffy and Chandler from Friends is the same fucking guy
— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) June 1, 2015
— Curtis Sittenfeld (@csittenfeld) June 2, 2015
Clint is “wearing the villain hat.” I want a villain hat. Especially when I’m having a bad villain hair day. #thebachelorette
— Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) June 2, 2015
— Judy Blume (@judyblume) June 4, 2015
To the woman on 73rd Street who was bleeding after my dog bit her in the leg: She does that sometimes. She’s just playing.
— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) June 1, 2015
oh shit i bought a computer while mercury was in retrograde
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) June 1, 2015
I feel completely understood by the Sorting Hat and the Myers-Briggs test, but my astrological sign doesn’t make any sense.
— Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) June 4, 2015
Molly, aka The Thing of Evil, examines my reading material and decides to eat it for lunch. pic.twitter.com/I4KxkLUL9y
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) June 1, 2015
Still looking to hire 1950’s era housewife but now conjoined w/ tech skills of average 11-year-old. Salary negotiated–will be “generous.”
— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) May 26, 2015
What the fuck is with girls and cracking knuckles? Sitting in Philz coffee and it’s like they’re playing the goddamn bongos, all of them!
— Ayelet Waldman (@ayeletw) May 18, 2015