Author

Scott Brown

Scott Brown's Hit List

1. Nicolas Cage is found to owe millions in back taxes — and to own multiple private islands Those ”treasure” scenes from National Treasure were pretty much shot in his crawl space, after a weekend QVC bender.

2. Robert Pattinson keeps insisting he can’t get a date And I keep insisting that he shut the @$%! up with his ”can’t get a date” crap.

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Scott Brown's Hit List

1. Beard expert says Brad Pitt is ”marking a new stage in his career” with his scraggly gray chin-weasel That’s what my beard usually means, too, if you interpret ”marking a new stage in his career” as ”living in his Nissan.”

2. Robin Thicke and his wife have already picked out baby names ”We were gonna go with first-pet-plus-street-you-grew-up-on,” said Thicke. ”But then I figured, ‘My name is already Thicke. This is overkill.”’

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Scott Brown's Hit List

1. New My Little Pony show being developed for TV Logline: An irascible pink pony (Kelsey Grammer) solves mysteries, even as he alienates co-workers with his idiosyncrasies and horseflies.

2. Nicole Kidman says motherhood made her boobs a ”normal size” It’s got starlets up and down Sunset asking their doctors about this cutting-edge ”motherhood” procedure.

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Scott Brown's Hit List

1. After missing Swiss concert due to illness, Nick Jonas can’t wait to rock Bilbao Shh! He thinks ”Bilbao” is somewhere in Middle-earth, and he’ll be performing for hobbits and elves. He’s still fragile, so let’s keep quiet about it.

2. John Mayer tweets about Britney Spears’ lip-synch scandal in Australia I can’t describe my relief. It’s as if a North Korean nuclear crisis were unfolding, and Jimmy Carter just rolled in.

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Scott Brown's Hit List

1. Kate Winslet wins libel suit against tabloid claiming she lied about not exercising before the Oscars In a dramatic courtroom demonstration, Winslet refrained from exercise for several weeks, then promenaded past the judge in a backless dress.

2. Taylor Swift gets heat for posing with swastika-clad man Luckily, Beyoncé showed up to smooth it over.

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Scott Brown's Hit List

1. John Stamos admits he was drunk on Australian TV in 2007 ”At the time,” he explains, ”I did not know that Foster’s was ‘Australian for beer.’ I thought it was ‘Australian for diet soda.”’

2. Whitney Houston suffers a wardrobe malfunction on a British show, and later jokes, ”I sang myself out of my clothes” I tried that line once in a crowded karaoke bar. Didn’t go over very well. But then again, I was singing Mariah, so shame on me.

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