American Pie star Jason Biggs wears out his welcome quickly in Daniel Goldfarb's trifle of a play. A self-professed shmegege who deals in diamonds, Biggs' Hershel gloms onto two ''ersatz Jews'' he hardly knows: He helps them find their faith, they help him find a virgin bride (Jenn Harris, so funny you could plotz), and the audience must endure cringe-worthy punchlines. Hershel on his parents: ''They love each other like a dog his balls.'' Oy! Thankfully, Craig Bierko and Molly Ringwald (as the couple) provide an oasis of calm amid all of Modern Orthodox's mishegoss. (TC)

