Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest quotes for the week of December 24, 2004

''Sweetie, that's orphan talk.''
HOMER, AFTER LISA SAYS PARENTS AREN'T ALLOWED TO HELP OUT WITH KIDS' SCIENCE PROJECTS, ON THE SIMPSONS

''According to his own grand jury testimony, New York Yankees player Jason Giambi injected himself with human growth hormone in 2003 and also used steroids for at least three seasons. Although apparently not the kind that make you good at baseball.''
TINA FEY ON SNL

''Of course it is, Michael. That's why they call it scoring.''
LINDSAY (PORTIA DE ROSSI) TO MICHAEL (JASON BATEMAN), AFTER HE SAYS THAT HER OPEN MARRIAGE IS NOT A COMPETITION, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Originally posted Dec 20, 2004 Published in issue #798 Dec 24, 2004 Order article reprints