Ad Nauseam

You might expect such widespread resentment would stir Hollywood to ban the ads, but while such calls have been made, studios don't have complete say over what exhibitors actually do. Some are reluctant to even speak out on the issue. As one studio executive bluntly puts it, ''We don't want to s--- where we eat.''

But Michael Rosenberg, president of Imagine Entertainment, says the film community ignores anti-ad sentiment at its own peril: ''I don't understand why people in our business aren't more vocal. If we don't protect the moviegoing experience, people will stay home with their TiVo and watch movies on their big-screen TVs.'' With attendance down 6 percent over the past two years, no one can afford to keep hitting the snooze button forever.

Countering the critics, ad boosters insist that most people would rather have something to look at before the trailers start than just a blank screen. ''In our heart of hearts, we all know if we're sitting there we'd rather be entertained,'' says Matthew Kearney, president and chairman of the Cinema Advertising Council. ''And some of this stuff is extremely entertaining. We're talking about the best talent in the business making a 30-second message. We're talking about very high-production-value, very creative advertising.''

Yes, well, we're also talking about the Fanta commercial with the jingle that's so brain-meltingly awful it could be used to break the will of detainees at Guantánamo Bay. When it comes to ads like that, we'll take the blank screen, thanks all the same.

Whatever the poll numbers say, it's clear we're never going back to the days when preshow entertainment consisted of a few newsreels and cartoons (or even just blessed silence). As long as moviegoers remain a captive audience with enough disposable income to blow on Seed of Chucky, advertisers will keep them in their crosshairs. Is it only a matter of time before we show up at the multiplex to find a commercial for Taco Bell smack in the middle of Shrek 5?

If you think this sounds paranoid, consider Mexico, where some theater owners have reportedly started fitting headrests with covers bearing glow-in-the-dark ads. Should it come to that in the U.S., here's a suggestion: If you can't bear to see the annoying couple in the Movietickets.com ad again, you can always use the extra light to read a book.