Racing Stripes (2005)

For the jaded adult, there's something casually terrifying about Racing Stripes. The kids in my theater were unfazed, cheering on plucky zebra Stripes (sullenly voiced by Frankie Muniz) as he overcomes thoroughbred prejudice to compete in the ''Kentucky Open.'' Yup, it's a ''race'' picture — but there are good reasons why zebras and horses don't mix on the track (unbridgeable size and speed differentials come to mind), and no amount of CGI can disguise them. So what disturbed me? Was it the manic poo humor? The dead-eyed charmlessness of the creatures (voiced by Snoop Dogg and, it seems, whoever wasn't busy with a relaunch of Celebrity Mole)? The gratingly referential sub-Shrek script? No, it was the Shetland pony, which sports both Dustin Hoffman's pipes and his I Heart Huckabees toupee, and will haunt my nightmares forever.