KINGDOM OF HEAVENOrlando Bloom in yet another ancient epic—does he even get a chance to wash his armor between crusades? A-

THE LONGEST YARDSandler passes, Rock receives: It's a solid formula. And formula is what this guards-versus-cons redo is all about. B-

THE PINK PANTHERSteve Martin pratfalls into Clouseau, Peter Sellers' most indelible role. Why minky with genius? No apparent reason, so far. C+

MELINDA AND MELINDAWoody Allen's new comedy really is tragedy plus time — and Wallace Shawn! Star Will Ferrell also gives good nebbish. B+