The Oscars Get Rock-ed

Image credit: Punchline: Columbia Pictures/ Everett Collection

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Chris Rock

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What about Richard Pryor's movies?
Richard was kind of scared in every movie: ''Oh, what'm I gon' do?'' Ed was just cool, man. He was like Shaft with jokes.

What was the dirtiest non-porn movie you saw as a kid?
Probably Foxy Brown or Superfly. Klute was the closest I got to porn. I remember my brother taking us to [Woody Allen's] Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask. We weren't having sex then, so it was actually confusing. It was like, ''Huh? He's kissing a sheep? What's going on here?''

What movie do you love that most other people hate?
Mars Attacks! Love it! Can't get enough of it. Every time I bump into Tim Burton, which is probably once every two years, I tell him I love Mars Attacks!, and he always looks at me kind of weird, like he thinks I'm making fun of him. But he doesn't realize I really love the movie! Jim Brown punching people in the face. The little aliens, just the way they walk. F---ing great, man.

And what movie do you hate that everyone else loves?
When I don't get something, I just say it wasn't meant for me. I don't think they have me in mind when they're making some of these movies. No one was thinking about me when they were making Cold Mountain.

What actor will you see in any movie that they're in?
I'll see Denzel Washington in anything. Probably Johnny Depp. And my new thing after seeing Alexander is that only Russell Crowe should be in period pieces. Even if the movie's about something that happened three weeks ago, they should hire Russell Crowe. He's just better than everybody.

Who's the funniest actor you've ever met?
Tom Hanks is one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. When he was [prepping to play a comedian in the 1988 film] Punchline, I was a young comic. I got to watch this guy start with no act. He wrote it with [comedian] Barry Sobel, and in three weeks, he was better than everybody. [Better than] Jerry [Seinfeld], too. I feel sorry for Tom, in a sense. If he'd have grown up with less education, he'd be the greatest comedian who ever lived. The acting people got to him early. I can't get jealous of people who are better than me. Hey, bravo! If they did a movie right now, The Chris Rock Story, they should cast Tom Hanks — he's that good. You don't want me, you want Tom Hanks.