''What are you guys? Like, Kavalier and gay?
SUMMER (RACHEL BILSON) TO BOYFRIEND ZACH (MICHAEL CASSIDY) AND EX SETH (ADAM BRODY), WHO ARE WRITING A COMIC BOOK, ON THE O.C.
''For a fun second-term drinking game, chug a beer every time you hear the phrase 'contentious but futile protest vote by Democrats.' By the time Jeb Bush is elected, you'll be so wasted you won't even notice the war in Syria.''
JON STEWART, ON THE BATTLE AGAINST CONDOLEEZZA RICE'S CABINET NOMINATION, ON THE DAILY SHOW
''You're not gonna know if you're sitting on a $500 toilet or a $5 toilet. Your ass doesn't know the difference,''
AUDREY, AFTER BRIAN REPLACES 14 TOILETS, ON THE APPRENTICE
''Hey, George Michael, Jesus called. He wants your Thriller album.''
MAEBY (ALIASHAWKAT) TO HER COUSIN (MICHAEL CERA), WHO'S PARTICIPATING IN A CHRISTIAN ALBUM BURNING, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT