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Commercial Clout: Grading The Super Bowl Ads

EW rates the Super Bowl XXXIX commercials -- Here are the six most memorable (if not annoying) ads from Super Bowl Sunday

Heineken Things seem to be going from bad to worse for Brad Pitt. First Troy stumbles, then his marriage crumbles, and now he's slumming for a beer company?!? The spot's whole avoiding-the-paparazzi concept is clever enough, but c'mon, Brad — a beer ad? Is life without Jen that bad? C+

Quiznos Memo to advertisers: Talking babies are creepy. They have always been creepy. They will always be creepy. We thought Baby Bob had finally vanished alongside his ill-conceived CBS sitcom, but here he is being hit on by an adult and talking up the finer points of turkey subs. Turkey, indeed. F

FedEx The courier pokes fun at clichéd Super Bowl commercials by showcasing a talking bear, a cute kid, a dance routine, hot licks (courtesy of Journey), hot chicks, and an old-time celeb. Plus, who doesn't want to watch Burt Reynolds get kicked in the family jewels? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone? A

Verizon With a spot featuring Kid Rock, Billy Bush, Melissa Rivers, and Deion Sanders, Verizon easily shatters the modern-day record for cramming the largest collection of annoying celebrities into one ad. On the plus side, at least the company's ''Can you hear me now?'' guy didn't make the cut. D

Lays There's just something about seeing M.C. Hammer get tossed over a fence that makes you wanna . . . eat potato chips! Well, maybe not, but watching the performer (whose last hit involved rapping about Uncle Fester) bust out some old-school dance moves in his trademark baggy pants is truly too legit to quit. B

Diet Pepsi P. Diddy arrives at an awards show in a Diet Pepsi delivery truck, and suddenly everyone (including Xzibit and Eva Longoria) wants to swipe the hype with their own pimped-out Pepsi ride. Bonus points for Carson Daly mocking himself. Makes our job that much easier. B+

Originally posted Feb 14, 2005 Published in issue #807 Feb 18, 2005 Order article reprints
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