1
LINDSAY LOHAN DOLL IN THE WORKS
More exciting are the kick-ass
accessories. Wacky Daddy Lohan doll even comes with his own jail cell!
(Cellmate ''Tiny'' sold separately.)
2
ICE CUBE AND MARK MCGRATH TO PLAY IN CELEB HOOPS GAME DURING NBA
ALL-STAR WEEKEND
Oh, oh, I wanna play! That way I can bust out some
super-lame trash talk, like ''Yo, Mark, here's your Extra — you suck!'' And
then he can beat the snot out of me. Probably while dunking.
3
NEW MENUDO WILL BE FORMED VIA A TV CONTEST
Hmmm, how do you say
''really, really crappy idea'' in Spanish?
4
BRUCE WILLIS ANNOUNCES DIE HARD 4.0
Great title! Love the technology
vibe. In fact, in its honor, I think I'll skip the theater and just
illegally download the entire film to my desktop.
5
ROB SCHNEIDER TAKES OUT FULL-PAGE AD REFUTING CLAIM THAT HE IS A
''THIRD-RATE COMIC''
I'm actually with Rob on this one. I saw both The
Animal and The Hot Chick, and those were definitely fourth-rate at best.
6
FOX TO AIR STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP
Promised are ''action stars floundering
on the beach,'' which is code for ''set your TiVo.''
7
CHEECH AND CHONG REUNITE AT U.S. COMEDY ARTS FESTIVAL
I wasn't there,
but I'm guessing this reunion also included a very special appearance by
one Mr. Bud. First name: Kind.
8
ABC PLANS MOVIE ON DONALD TRUMP
Rob Schneider, you score this role, I
bump you up to second-rate — immediately.
9
J. LO PERFORMS DUET WITH MARC ANTHONY AT THE GRAMMYS
She didn't
exactly seem all that excited about it. I mean, the woman started
brushing her hair at one point while being serenaded. And her hair was
already perfectly brushed!
10
JOSE CANSECO TALKS 'ROIDS
If you can't trust a guy who had a baseball
bounce off his head for a home run, who can you trust?
