Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest quotes for the week of Mar 4 2005

''J. Lo and Marc Anthony sang a duet in Spanish, and all I can say is: Telemundon't.''
COMEDIAN DOUG BENSON, ABOUT THE COUPLE'S LATIN-SOAP-INSPIRED GRAMMY PERFORMANCE, ON BEST WEEK EVER

''Jury selection for his trial has been put on hold. Doctors say it's a very aggressive strain of flu, and they are worried that it could spread from Michael to humans.''
JIMMY KIMMEL, ON THE KING OF POP'S SUDDEN ILLNESS BEFORE HE WAS DUE IN COURT, ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

''Look how happy you are. Carefree. It's almost as if you don't know you're Billy Bush.''
TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG, TO ACCESS HOLLYWOOD'S BILLY BUSH, ON LATE NIGHT

Originally posted Feb 28, 2005 Published in issue #809 Mar 04, 2005 Order article reprints