The Pacifier, Vin Diesel | IT TAKES A LOT OF BALLS TO MAKE A MOVIE THIS STINKY How many more signs of the apocalypse are there?
Image credit: THE PACIFIER: Kerry Hayes
IT TAKES A LOT OF BALLS TO MAKE A MOVIE THIS STINKY How many more signs of the apocalypse are there?
Movie Review

The Pacifier (2005)

EW's GRADE
D+

Details Release Date: Mar 04, 2005; Rated: PG; Length: 94 Minutes; Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Kids and Family; With: Vin Diesel; Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

Blame it on Clint and that orangutan. In the '70s, he was probably the first slab of macho to domesticate his image by teaming with a costar worthy of a Dean Jones kiddie comedy. From there, it wasn't such a big leap to Arnold and Kindergarten Cop and now, God help us, The Pacifier, a yawn-by-numbers romper-room dud that is nevertheless shrewd enough to tweak its star, Vin Diesel, for becoming a joke in less time than it took him to become an action hero.

Playing babysitter to a family of brats (he's a Navy SEAL, in case you were wondering; they're an assassinated scientist's children, whom he's been assigned to protect), Diesel, who looks like Uncle Fester's frat-house-hooligan son, doesn't interact with anyone. He just barks orders in that muscle-lipped monotone. You haven't experienced a disgruntled lunk's bad timing until you've seen a slice of baloney drop onto Vin, who, after a pause of about three hours, croaks out the line ''This is my favorite shirt!'' The Pacifier appears to have been a good career move, but even Diesel may live to regret it when he discovers what flubber awaits him.

Originally posted Mar 09, 2005 Published in issue #811 Mar 18, 2005 Order article reprints

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