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Image credit: Bjork: Dan MacMedan/ImageDirect

SWAN SONGSTRESS Björk's ''friend'' made her frock a doodle doo

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BJÖRK, THE CHER OF THE 21ST CENTURY After last year's bland parade of dignified dresses, the Oscars were in desperate need of some fashion disasters. At first this year seemed just as bleak, with Best Actress winner Julia Roberts' modeling an unimpeachable vintage Valentino and ''Traffic'' star Catherine Zeta Jones' wearing a familiar black strapless. Bo-ring. Thankfully, there were a few stars willing to get downright weird. ''Almost Famous'' Best Supporting Actress nominee Kate Hudson mucked up a simple gray slipdress with a zippered and fringed neckpiece that would be perfect if her next role is ''Star Trek: The Wagon Train Years.'' Sarah Jessica Parker decided to screw with the formal evening wear rule and waltz on stage in a stretchy minidress that could have easily sent some of the older guild members into cardiac arrest, and Jennifer Lopez, who seemed tastefully attired at first glance, raised the room's temperature with her leave the room kids, see through top. But the real wild child of the evening was Björk, who had a friend design her dress using a large stuffed swan, a bunch of feathers, and possibly one active brain cell. Though Martin quipped that he would have worn his swan, ''but it's so last year,'' Björk (who'll make every worst dressed list in town) clearly knows that even bad publicity is still pretty darn good.

HOST WITH THE MOST Though the show's opening, which featured International Space Station astronaut Susan Helms introducing host Steve Martin, was a dimwitted clunker, once the evening got underway the star of ''The Jerk'' proved himself to be the biggest success story of the evening. With a hip, sophisticated monologue that covered everything from the atrocities of the Taliban to Hollywood facelifts, Martin never missed a beat, even when his joke about Russell Crowe hitting on Ellen Burstyn was received with a deadly look from the Best Actor winner. Amazingly, that only made the moment funnier, and the producers wisely returned to Crowe's mirthless mug later in the monologue to even louder gales of laughter. But poking fun at America's favorite skirt wearing swashbuckler wasn't Martin's greatest talent. He also brought the show in at just 3 hours and 29 minutes, considerably shorter than the bloated programs of the past.

WRITE ON Stephen Gaghan, who won the Best Adapted Screenplay award for ''Traffic,'' had more to be thankful for than a little gold statuette. A former heroin addict, Gaghan spoke about how happy he was to be in recovery. ''I feel love and I feel joy and I wake up happy, and it didn't used to be that way,'' he said. ''I was killing myself in the most cowardly way possible. One day I hit the wall and I reached out my hand and said, I need help. This award is the greatest honor, but it's just icing. I still have to wake up tomorrow and keep doing the same stuff.''

TRADING PLACES Bob Dylan has never been known for his clear and eloquent speech, but when he accepted his Best Original Song award for ''Things Have Changed,'' the guy was practically Shakespearean, uttering, ''Good God, this is amazing,'' and thanking the academy for voting for a song that didn't pull any punches about human nature. In contrast, Goldie Hawn tripped over her tongue repeatedly while reading a TelePrompTer, joking that ''as you get older, you're supposed to be able to read!'' The moment was a pleasant reminder of her ''Laugh-In'' days, except this time around Hawn probably wasn't being a lovable goof. The incredibly youthful Oscar winner may look 35, but give her a break. Gorgeous at 55, she still probably needs bifocals.

KEEP TO THE SCRIPT, LADIES Though Ashley Judd, Winona Ryder, and Hilary Swank weren't nominated for a single award this year, all three actresses unwisely used their presentation time to squeeze in a few thank yous. Judd thanked the Academy for inviting ''a simple country girl'' to the ceremony, a cute idea that doesn't play so well when the simple country girl is wearing about a million bucks' worth of jewels. Winona thanked Javier Bardem for his performance in ''Before Night Falls,'' which could have waited until the Vanity Fair party and ensured Russell Crowe will never ask her for a date (on second thought...). And Hilary Swank tried to milk the last drop from her Best Actress win for last year's ''Boys Don't Cry,'' admitting she hadn't thanked her father in her previous speech. Enough already! Go to Hallmark, pick up some thank you cards, and learn some manners.

ERIN GO BLANK The longest speech award undoubtedly goes to Best Actress winner Julia Roberts (''Erin Brockovich''), who made no bones about passing the 45 second limit. ''Everybody tries to shut me up,'' she said. ''It didn't work with my parents and it doesn't work now. The orchestra guy had a couple little twitches, but a gal's got to have her moment, that's what I think.'' Even with her elongated speech she did manage to leave someone out -- the real Erin Brockovich. ''During my out of body experience earlier tonight I didn't acknowledge her, shamefully, shamefully! And really, she's the center of the universe that was our movie.'' But Roberts intends to make it up to the legal eagle. ''I'll send her a little something to celebrate.'' Maybe Benjamin Bratt has a brother.

More post-Oscar updates will be added throughout Monday, March 26, on EW.com's All About Oscar 2001.

Plus, see photos from the red carpet on People.com, check out Oscar fashions on InStyle.com, and get another take on the ceremony at Time.com.