Something for 'Everybody'

''You want Denzel and all you can get is me,'' Chris Rock told producers during his Oscar monologue, ''wait.'' But Denzel Washington doesn't do TV anymore, so UPN was apparently happy to settle for Rock. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the network has picked up a sitcom pilot that Rock shopped to Fox last year. Called ''Everybody Hates Chris,'' it's a single-camera show based on the comedian's youth in early 1980s Brooklyn. Rock will narrate the show, which centers on the oldest of three children in a strict family, an African-American boy who attends a mostly white school. No word on who's playing the young Chris, but maybe UPN will go with a casting suggestion Rock made during his notorious EW interview last month. ''If they did a movie right now, The Chris Rock Story, they should cast Tom Hanks — he's that good.''