Movie Article

Franchise Player

What great director should make a shabby franchise film? Check out the latest Ask the Critic question and post your own

BRUCE SHAMBLES Willis and Allen should team up
Image credit: Illustration by Tomer Hanuka
BRUCE SHAMBLES Willis and Allen should team up

What great director should make a shabby franchise film?

What talented, respected director would you like to see make a disreputable franchise film? — Brian
How about the one who might benefit from it the most: Woody Allen. He has been stuck in the Upper East Side of his mind for so long now that perhaps the only way to lurch him out of it would be to force him into becoming a gun for hire. I'm talking shoot-outs, car chases, fireballs, nuclear terrorism, and an utterly gratuitous scene set in a strip club. I'm talking Woody Allen's Die Hard 5: Die Laughing. Bruce Willis' John McClane is back, only now he's living off his pension, playing electric clarinet in a jazz-hip-hop fusion band. McClane gets dragged back into action, though, when the evil Fritz Doumanian, a megalomaniac philosophy professor played by Wallace Shawn, threatens to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge and 12 other beloved New York landmarks unless the city withdraws its petition to hold the Olympics there. Hilary Duff plays a teen hooker with a heart of gold, and the Game performs his hit ''Take the Money and Die.''

(Got a movie-related question for Lisa or Owen? Post it here.)

Originally posted Apr 04, 2005 Published in issue #814 Apr 08, 2005 Order article reprints
Advertisement

From Our Partners