Stupid Questions

This week with...Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson is laughing all the way to the bank. Or at least to the bookstore. After implanting herself in the Hollywood landscape with such credits as Home Improvement, Baywatch, and V.I.P., the hottest export in Canadian history is now starring in the Fox sitcom Stacked (oh, the bibliophilic double entendre!) as a party girl who takes a job at a family-run bookstore. But can she handle the cold, hardcover truth of a few Stupid Questions? Read on.

Do you think Philip Roth peaked with American Pastoral and since then it's just been undifferentiated bellyaching on the decline of—

You lost me at Philip Roth.

Christopher Lloyd plays a retired physics professor in Stacked. How much energy did it take to persuade him to join the show — 1.21 gigawatts, perhaps?

I think it took a few jiggle-watts.

You're an animal rights activist who's launched a cruelty-free clothing line. How many writers and producers were harmed in the making of your new show?

All of them were harmed by me. Emotional scars run deep.

How much of V.I.P. was actually made up?

You think it's based on a real story?

The tale of a naive sexpot who stumbles into the world of high-stakes private security is pure fiction?

I adlibbed and made up everything, from the makeup chair to the set, and decided what color gun I wanted and made sure it matched my outfit.

And what exactly is a good gun color?

I had a pink grenade launcher.

It's kind of embarrassing for a guy to get his ass kicked by a girl with a pink grenade launcher.

That's what the show was about — humiliating men.

Baywatch fans need to know: What have you never forgiven C.J. for?

Attempting to be an actress.

What sound does a David Hasselhoff album make as it's being thrown in the trash?

Oh boy, that's an insult, isn't it? Poor David. . .We did all get one for Christmas.

You were also in the TV movie Baywatch: River of No Return. Are we to assume that your Baywatch powers extend to all bodies of water?

Pools, rivers, oceans. . .

Let's say that I'm drowning in my own tears because I just found out that V.I.P. is all made up. Could you save me?

I'm going to leave you hanging. Drown in your tears. That's a good way to go.

You've been a columnist for Jane magazine. So here we are, two magazine writers, just hanging out. . .

Yeah. Here we are. . .To indent or not indent? Who knows?

You once said: ''My breasts have a career. I'm just tagging along.'' In that case. . .Breasts, why did you decide to make Barb Wire?

My breasts say: It was a great idea. I thought it was going to be a lot more fun. Now I know better.

Originally posted Apr 18, 2005 Published in issue #816 Apr 22, 2005 Order article reprints
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