God Knows Why

It seems only appropriate that on the eve of the Easter weekend, ''Survivor: The Australian Outback'' aired an episode of Biblical proportions. God fearing Rodger walked through the valley of the shadow of death, but the tribal council passed over him and voted to smite Amber instead. Jerri's meek disciple was struck down by the unholy alliance of former Kuchas Rodger and Elisabeth, along with onetime Ogakors Tina and Keith. That must've left Colby (who thought Tina and Keith would join him and Amber in booting off Rodger) feeling as betrayed as...

Okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away with all these religious metaphors. But consider the episode's litany of scriptural elements:

FLOODS It was Old Testament time on Barramundi Beach as a sudden storm washed away the tribe's camp, including all of their food, knives, and fishing tackles. As she witnessed the devastation, Elisabeth exclaimed, aptly enough, ''Oh my God!''

MYSTERIOUS WAYSTina and Keith didn't exactly part the Red Sea, but they did have to cross raging waters to retrieve the tin of rice that had been carried downstream. After all that suffering, the poor souls discovered that they couldn't start a fire because the matches in Keith's jacket had gotten wet. Job never had it so bad.

GLUTTONY Colby won the rope course challenge and was rewarded with a feast of beef stew, beans, bread and butter, Bud Light beer, and bacon and eggs, all served up by real Australian cowboys. Committing this deadly sin earned him gastrointestinal punishment, but Colby swore, ''I appreciated the opportunity to eat incredibly, no matter how sick it made me.''

SLINGSHOTS David's weapon of choice against Goliath figured in the immunity challenge, as the contestants used the primitive devices to shoot Macadamia nuts at plates with their opponents' names on them. Colby prevailed once again, taking out several players, including Tina and Keith. But instead of turning the other cheek, the twosome turned on him.

FORGIVENESS ''I don't hold anything against anybody,'' Amber proclaimed in her exit interview. ''You guys will be in my prayers.'' Amen.

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