If We Ran TV...

Business Plan

We give advice to liven up ''The Apprentice'' -- Here's three ways to give the Donald's show a boost

Another season of NBC's The Apprentice has dragged its legless corpse across the finish line, and not a moment too soon. Take a memo: If you expect us to watch not one but two incarnations of this thing in the fall (Martha, save us), it's time for some corporate restructuring.

Quit firing project managers by default
You'd have trouble managing your team too if they were all self-aggrandizing egomaniacs getting their big shot on TV. Cut the PMs a break and focus on, say, the maniacs with rage problems. Or the dumb people.

Let's try some gender equality!
Trump canned Erin for flirting, and Audrey for being too pretty. And sure, he finally hired a woman, but then gave Kendra a choice between running a beauty pageant and remodeling a house. Wrong in so many ways.

Fix the finale
Dear Mark Burnett: See that show over there called Survivor? You own it. Its finale is always good. Learn from it. Announce the winner at the end of the last ep. Tack on a one-hour reunion show. Hire Jeff Probst to host. Shazam.

Originally posted May 30, 2005 Published in issue #823 Jun 03, 2005 Order article reprints