That's weak, dude

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''Joe Dirt'' (April 11)
STARS David Spade, Kid Rock, Dennis Miller
THE PITCH A trailer park raised idiot searches for his parents, who abandoned him at birth in the Grand Canyon.
FOR IT The PG-13 rating. ''Joe'' is the only film in this group that's legally accessible to the under 17 crowd.
AGAINST IT The PG-13 rating. ''It's the R rated fare that teens like,'' says Dergarabedian. Plus, Bucksbaum repeats, a lost parents plot ain't funny.
THE VERDICT ''Joe'' might not be dirty enough for teens.

''Freddy Got Fingered'' (April 20)
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY Tom Green
THE PITCH A downtrodden man is forced to move in with his parents. Then he refuses to leave.
FOR IT Green, the current don of finger down the throat shenanigans for the twentysomething set
AGAINST IT The movie's ONLY selling point is Green. ''The tastes of this crowd change constantly,'' says Bucksbaum. ''It's really tough to call.''
THE VERDICT ''Freddy'' is due for a healthy portion of green stuff, provided the plot is -- nah, forget the plot. We want to see if Tom is willing to bypass the road kill and eat an entire car.