The Honeymooners (2005)

Less than five minutes into The Honeymooners — an adaptation of the classic TV show as loose as Jackie Gleason's trousers on Art Carney — the movie announces its collapse. ''I'll take you to the moon,'' coos soon-to-be-wed NYC bus driver Ralph Kramden (Cedric the Entertainer) to his intended, Alice Gibson (Gabrielle Union — looking way too young for him). The pop-eyed marital violence of the series is reduced to a cuddly come-on that reveals the craven synthesis behind this whole venture. It's downright creepy to promise Alice the moon, when we all remember her original mode of transport. The filmmakers have made that matter moot: They keep their cutesy Ralph and his child bride safely separated. (So...why remake this, again?) Instead, the story hopscotches among various sketches, er, schemes hatched by Ralph and Norton (Mike Epps). Epps has a nicely beaten charm to him — among the leads, he alone looks like he knows what a trip to the moon costs.