Canseco Watch

The fifth season of The Surreal Life is underway (VH1, Sundays at 9 p.m.), merrily dusting off another mismatched set of C-list celebrities for our enjoyment. We rang up the most random housemate, former Oakland A's outfielder/pharmacist Jose Canseco, and had him field the first-ever SL baseball team. (For the record, Canseco would like to pitch. ''More control of the game.'')

Extreme-motocross star Carey Hart
He strikes me as a second baseman. He's quiet, he does his job.

America's Next Top Model judge Janice Dickinson
Center fielder. She's everywhere, you can't figure her out. Unpredictable.

Sandy ''Pepa'' Denton, one-third of Salt-N-Pepa
Pepa's realistic, down-to-earth. I'd probably put her at third base.

Perfect Strangers star Bronson Pinchot
They always put the smart guys out in right field. That's where I used to play.

Apprentice nightmare Omarosa
Shortstop. She wants to be involved with all the plays, control the situation.

Obscure supermodel Caprice
She'd probably play catcher. 'Cause she'd receive my fastballs.