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The Body (2001)
EW's GRADE
D+Details Limited Release: Apr 20, 2001; Rated: PG-13; Length: 100 Minutes; Genre: Drama; With: Antonio Banderas, Derek Jacobi and Olivia Williams
The title suggests a teen horror flick (or a Jesse Ventura biopic), but The Body is something even scarier: one of those murky, turgid, religious conspiracy ''thrillers'' featuring an international cast with more cacophonous accents than the Tower of Babel. It's hard to say which character is more absurd: the gorgeous British sounding Israeli archeologist (''The Sixth Sense'''s Olivia Williams) who digs up a set of bones in Jerusalem that may be the unresurrected remains of Jesus Christ, or the smoldering ex–intelligence officer Latino priest (Antonio Banderas) who's sent in by the Vatican to cover up the potentially faith shattering story.
By the time Williams suggestively asks Banderas to disrobe so she can treat the wounds inflicted on him by rock throwing Orthodox Jews (''These guys would rather eat pork than disturb the dead,'' she explains with a straight face), the whole megillah has brought new meaning to ''holy crap.'' One thing's for sure: This cinematic stiff should have stayed buried.
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