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Thus, the reeducation of Tommy Lee began. He and a camera crew moved in with nice-guy roommate Matt and attended General Chemistry, Landscape Plants I, and Native American Literature for several weeks. (Although he didn't earn credit, he took tests with the other students.) Horticulture proved no walk in the park. ''I've landscaped three homes,'' says Lee. ''I'm like, 'I'm gonna ace that!' Then I get [to Nebraska], and it's like, 'Uh, dude? The climate's totally different.' I had to learn 128 different specimens and spellings — big, long, Greek-sounding names and s---.'' But chemistry was the worst. ''I wish you had some infrared thought glasses,'' muttered Lee to a producer after one lecture, ''because you'd see a giant question mark rotating slowly.'' To help out, the producers assigned him a 3.9-GPA-wielding tutor named Natalie who just happened to be a smokin' blonde. Says Lee: ''I was constantly sabotaging myself by staring at her.''
His time outside the classroom also was sensory overload. He went to a toga party. Struggled to read sheet music while auditioning for the marching band. Worked in a residence-hall cafeteria, where he asked a customer if he wanted to ''rock some jalapeños'' on his ham sandwich. He did, however, keep professional distance from female Huskers, even when several slipped him phone numbers. ''I was under strict rules from NBC to be cool,'' he says. ''But I did fly in some girls and stay at a hotel for a few nights. I am a grown man.''
Hard to believe, but Lee took his crash course semi-seriously, even if he didn't top the dean's list. ''Viewers weren't going to root for him if he didn't really try,'' says exec producer Eddie October. ''If he went in and was the rock star and kicked over podiums, that would be funny for one episode.'' So did his undergrad daze make him think about eschewing the Mötley life to pursue a more academic calling? Not quite. He's currently touring the globe with a revived Crüe and promoting his third solo album, Tommyland: The Ride (due Aug. 9). For a fleeting moment, though, Lee ponders a possibility. ''I'd be into medical school,'' he offers. ''No more pens and papers — this is scalpels and syringes and saws! How wrong would that be?'' Probably just wrong enough for a sequel.
College Life 101, by Tommy Lee
ON ROOMMATES
''He's got to have a 3.5, because you need help. And you want to find an active dormmate, one who's really never there, so you've got the pad to yourself.''
STUDY RULES
''No music. No chicks. And chocolate-covered espresso beans.''
CLASSROOM ETIQUETTE
''Always show up a few minutes late. Sit next to the hot smart girl. Try to pay attention.''
MAXIMIZING FREE TIME
''Keg-tipping was a nice extracurricular activity. A girl puts her hands on the keg, puts the nozzle in her mouth and the guys grab her legs and tip her upside down. I thought that was interesting. Like, hmmm, how does the liquid go up? Doesn't it go down?''
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