Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest quotes from July 26 to August 1. Read out favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week

Kevin Connolly
Image credit: Entourage: Claudette Barius

''This guy has a website that gets a million hits a day. He can sink a movie faster than Stephen Dorff.''
ERIC (KEVIN CONNOLLY), ABOUT AN INTERNET JOURNALIST, ON ENTOURAGE

''They're claiming it's CPR, but I'm not buying it for a second. And Steven and I, we practiced all night.''
JONNY FAIRPLAY, DISCUSSING HIS MOUTH-TO-MOUTH SCENE WITH STEVEN HILL, ON KILL REALITY

''I'm about to do the doo. I'm about to drop it on the one — a boatload.''
WHITNEY HOUSTON, EXPLAINING THAT SHE NEEDS TO USE THE REST ROOM, ON BEING BOBBY BROWN

''She could still show up for her own son's coma!''
CLAIRE (LAUREN AMBROSE), ANGRY THAT HER MOTHER (FRANCES CONROY) IS UNREACHABLE DURING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, ON SIX FEET UNDER

''We've got the Jedi Council going full throttle against the Sith Lords right now.''
HOWIE, DISCUSSING HIS NEW ALLIANCE, ON BIG BROTHER

''Lance Armstrong's win and retirement mean many things, but perhaps none more important than this: Americans will never have to care about cycling again.''
ROB CORDDRY, ON THE DAILY SHOW

''This may seem indelicate: Does he have any bullet holes in it?''
JIMMY KIMMEL, AFTER TERRENCE HOWARD SAYS THAT 50 CENT, WHO WAS SHOT NINE TIMES, APPEARS NAKED IN THE FILM GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN', ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

Originally posted Aug 05, 2005 Published in issue #833 Aug 12, 2005 Order article reprints