Anyone who knows ''Charlotte's Web'' and ''Stuart Little'' knows also that E.B. White is the class act of children's literature: imaginative, compassionate, dignified, funny. This cartoon adaptation of his third kids' book, The Trumpet of the Swan, is a pox on the man's memory.
The tale of a mute swan who finally finds voice via a trumpet, the film features charmless songs, junky animation, hambone voice talent (Jason Alexander, I'm talking to you), deeply square attempts to be hip, and a narrative tone that changes migratory direction every five minutes. ''Well, I enjoyed it,'' said my 4-year-old, and so she did. Rent the video for your own kids, then -- or help their taste buds develop by reading them the book as well.