Revenge of the Nerd Herd

At this point in time, we Sovereign sympathizers have to grab our moments of joy wherever we can get them. Like with Janelle's head of household win. Or Howie yawning on the monitor during Julie's opening monologue. Or Ivette's girlfriend admitting on national TV that she hates how Ivette worships Cappy but loves how Janelle plays the game. (Clearly, she had no idea that Janelle had just called her ugly as hell during Tuesday's broadcast. So flippin' awesome, man.)

I say all of this because I know Janelle has virtually no chance of winning the cold, hard cash on Sept. 20. Look at the odds: The Friendsheep will dominate that sequester house, and there is no way they would choose Janelle over the likes of Maggie or (God forbid) April or (God help us all) Ivette. They detest Janelle, even if it's for all the wrong reasons. They hate her for her looks. They hate her for winning all those bonus prizes. They hate her for not taking this game seriously. Call me a pessimist, but I am under no illusion that the Friendsheep will finally gain some humility and realize that Janelle outwitted them all. That's why we all need to band together one final time and phone in so Janelle will get that special trip outside the BB house. Who cares if it only involves a lame trip to the set of Two and a Half Men? Let's see if we can drive Ivette to tears once more by showing her and the others who America prefers, once and for all.

Thanks to the very predictable BB editing, I fully expected Ivette to ignore the offer made by Howie and Janelle to evict April in exchange for Ivette's safety the following week. Instead, BB showed us lots of video of Ivette whining about April and how she doesn't deserve to win — a sure sign that April would survive last night's eviction. Nuts. Ivette could have redeemed herself in my eyes, but no chance of that now. Granted, she would have divided the Friendship had she expelled Busto, but I still think her fellow Nerd Herders would have chosen her in the end over Howie and Janelle. Scratch that; maybe just her over Janelle. Despite his maniacal rants earlier this season, Howie sure managed to set things right with the ladies in the end. Perhaps the Force really is with him.

Knowing what I know now about that sequester house, I'm getting a little antsy. Or maybe it's just a bout of boredom coming on. Sure I want to see who Janelle puts up this Saturday (I'm thinking Ivette and Maggie), and I definitely hope she wins next week's HOH challenge as well (remember, she can compete next week too), but otherwise this show is feeling like one sorry fait accompli. So as usual, I wish the cameras were turned 24/7 on the sequester house. The tension is deliciously palpable — not that I needed any more reminders of how completely heinous that Jennifer is (though the bird-flipping James is really no better). I just wish CBS could outfit the Friendsheep with their own video cameras so we can enjoy the moment when they finally interact with the outside world. Anyone want to go in on an anti-Friendsheep banner to fly over the wrap party?

And now, a final thought about Hurricane Katrina. It seemed ridiculously odd to hear Maggie talk about how the real world doesn't exist outside of this house — and even more so when Ivette cried about how $500K would mean so much to her family — when thousands of people are still without homes and basic resources in the wake of this horrific natural disaster. There are times to keep the houseguests sequestered from the outside world, and there are times to give them a much-needed reality check. This would have been one of those times — as long as BB spared us the inevitable ''golly gee'' scenes around the dinner table as the houseguests talked about the devastation. We don't need to hear them mourn the losses — or quote the Bible for that matter — but I still think they have the right to know.

What do you think? Is it inevitable that a member of the Friendsheep will collect the $500K? Will anyone ever use that computer in the HOH room? And what do you think was on the back of Beau's jacket (which was blurred by the CBS censors?). As the ever articulate Julie would say, choose your ''whirl'' — I mean ''words'' — carefully.

You Might Also Like

• 'BIG BROTHER' EXIT Q&A 'Big Brother' exit Q&A: Angie Swindell | Lynette Rice
• Television News The Ultimate Week of TV for Aug. 3-9
• TV Watch 'Big Brother' recap: The winner is... | Josh Wolk
• TV Watch 'Big Brother' recap: Thanks for the memories | Josh Wolk
• TV Watch The ''Big Brother'' finale: The head nerd wins | Lynette Rice
• TV Watch ''Big Brother'': The Friendsheep eat their own | Lynette Rice