Chris Rock
Image credit: Chris Rock: Tony Barson/WireImage.com
Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from Sept. 20 to 26. Read our favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week

''What's Tom Cruise gonna stand on?''
CHRIS ROCK, ADMIRING THE NEW COUCHLESS SET, ON OPRAH

''These are dangerous people, Michael. They will do whatever it takes to get inside this family and bring us down....Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. And their breath...''
GEORGE SR. (JEFFREY TAMBOR), DESCRIBING THE BRITISH, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

''He may be fair, but, uh...I don't believe he's very balanced.''
JON STEWART, DESCRIBING FOX NEWS ANCHOR SHEPARD SMITH'S TUMBLE DURING HURRICANE RITA, ON THE DAILY SHOW

''Why do you think they put TVs in coma patients' rooms, anyway?''
DR. HOUSE (HUGH LAURIE), ON HOUSE

''This is awesome! Black God rules!''
BART, UPON WITNESSING HIS FIRST GOSPEL CHOIR, ON THE SIMPSONS

''Seriously, you are guaranteed an Oscar if you play a mental.''
KATE WINSLET, PLAYING HERSELF, ON EXTRAS

''I don't really think drinking's the problem. It's just how much I drink.''
JOHANNNA, SHORTLY BEFORE BEING ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION, ON THE REAL WORLD: AUSTIN

''Isn't it a little immature for seniors to be giving wedgies?''
SUMMER (RACHEL BILSON), CONSOLING BULLYING VICTIM SETH (ADAM BRODY), ON THE O.C.

Originally posted Sep 30, 2005 Published in issue #843 Oct 07, 2005 Order article reprints

Add your comment

The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject or we might delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk * indicates a required field.

500 characters remaining
Advertisement