Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from Sept. 27 to Oct. 3. Read our favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week

Eva Longoria, Ricardo Antonio Chavira, ...
Image credit: Desperate Housewives: Danny Feld/ABC

''Honey, you and your macho pride. Just tell him you're flattered but you don't swing that way.''
GABRIELLE (EVA LONGORIA), AFTER CARLOS (RICARDO ANTONIO CHAVIRA) TELLS HER SOMEONE IN PRISON IS BOTHERING HIM, ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

''Cry and you're out of here. Women in business don't cry, my dear.''
MARTHA TO BETHENNY, WHO SAID SHE'S SO EMBARRASSED SHE MIGHT CRY, ON THE APPRENTICE: MARTHA STEWART

''She's not my type of girl. I like 'em crazy and pretty. She's neither.''
JAMIE, TALKING ABOUT BRIANNA, ON SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA

''What a fun, sexy time for you.''
GEORGE MICHAEL (MICHAEL CERA), TO HIS COUSIN MAEBY (ALIA SHAWKAT), WHO IS DATING AN OLDER MAN, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

''You know, I always thought that social chair was a ceremonial position, like Rose Bowl queen or president.''
SUMMER (RACHEL BILSON), AFTER REALIZING THAT PLANNING SCHOOL DANCES IS HARD, ON THE O.C.

''In a recent interview, Courtney Love says that now that she's over 40 she's decided not to flash her breasts in public anymore. Courtney's exact words were, ''From now on, I'm all about the crotch.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

''Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.''
MICHAEL (STEVE CARRELL), ABOUT A COWORKER, ON THE OFFICE

Originally posted Oct 07, 2005 Published in issue #844-845 Oct 14, 2005 Order article reprints
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