Gold-en Advice

Image credit: Jeremy Piven Photograph by Art Streiber

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He's not really an A-hole Hollywood superagent — he just plays one on TV. We asked actor Jeremy Piven to channel his character on HBO's Entourage and offer some deal-making tips to our readers.

Never take time off. ''Vacations are for milk-mustached, junior-varsity, I-just-can't-hack-it, please-never-give-me-a-raise, mail-room schlumps. I closed 11 deals in Tahiti alone. I can be in a grass hut with a sarong on and if I'm near a CrackBerry, I can get a 13-episode on-air commitment or double someone's quote.''

Dress to kill. ''Dress like you're not following anyone's lead. Clean. Immaculate. Like an assassin.''

Rank and dial. ''Part of the agent's job is to roll calls, from the most important down. It's a home-run town — you're taking the big cuts, you're swinging for the fences — so you take the ones that are going to yield the most U.S. currency.''

Act like you care. ''You've gotta go to the mat for your boys. Let them think that you will chain yourself to a desk for them, but the reality is I haven't read a script since the first Jaws.''

Never wait for anything. ''I've snapped a man's neck for putting me on hold.''

Gloating is good. ''There's nothing wrong with a victory lap. It's my prerogative as a champion to celebrate. I like to pour the salt in the wounds and relieve myself all over that person and then pout and say, 'C'mon, let's hug it out, you little bitch,' as if that'll make it all okay.... I work hard, I play hard. There is no in-between. Never relent.''