A McSweeney-ish update of Pliny's classic. Sample Verse ''You can't buy the tears that adorn my eyes/on eBay or in the diamond district. Those/bruises on you aren't temporary henna tattoos.'' Token Topical Poem In ''Four Horaces'': ''...there is no shelter/when the tower falls and the little city surrounding/ cries 'Eek!' and they start unzipping body bags pronto.'' Bottom Line Despite occasional hipster indulgences, Dan Chiasson can connect in Natural History with dazzlers like ''Which Species on Earth Is Saddest?''