''They haven't had sex in their life.''
DESIGNER SANTINO, EXPLAINING WHY COMPETITORS MARLA, DIANA, AND GUADALUPE WOULD LOSE THE LINGERIE-DESIGNING CHALLENGE, ON PROJECT RUNWAY
''Uh, Jason...when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be 'healthy' or 'unhealthy.' Never 'bangin' double Ds.' ''
J.D. (ZACH BRAFF), ADDRESSING ONE OF HIS INTERNS, ON SCRUBS
''If you didn't have adult-onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar.''
GOB (WILL ARNETT), FLIRTING WITH THE ELDERLY DURING HIS ACCIDENTAL DAY OF WORK, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
''Yesterday on The View, Joy Behar and Star Jones got in a huge on-air fight about religion. Apparently, it all started when Joy showed Star her menorah — and Star used it as a fork.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT
''President Bush is trying to put the best spin he can on this eavesdropping scandal, like he said today: 'This proves we have a government that listens to the people.' ''
JAY LENO, ON THE TONIGHT SHOW
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