1 BEST PRESHOW MOMENT (NON-MIZRAHI CATEGORY) Hilary Swank not clobbering NBC's Shaun Robinson for asking about her separation.
2 WORST PRESHOW MOMENT The parody of the Pussycat Dolls song ''Don't Cha'' including the line ''Hannibal Lecter is licking his lips to taste the Cecil B.'' Shudder.
3 NICE JOB WITH THE VICARIOUS LIVING Ryan Phillippe is really, really happy for you.
4 WINNER OF A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PSYCHOTHERAPY (ON US) Mortified Miss Golden Globe Dakota Johnson, who looked like she was willing herself into the ether, while being introduced by mom Melanie Griffith.
5 OLD COOT OF THE NIGHT Larry McMurtry, who thanked his typewriter.
6 FUN WITH NAMES Fine, Gwyneth, we'll pronounce it ''Antony'' Hopkins from now on.
7 BEST EMPTY PROMISE And now, together for the last time ever, the cast of Will & Grace!
8 BEST POSTSHOW MOMENT YOU DIDN'T SEE BECAUSE ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE WATCH THE POSTSHOW Jeremy Piven's response to an overly flirtatious E! red-carpet model-spondent who suggested he might ''win'' if he took her inside: ''Uh...don't pull a knife unless you're gonna use it.''