Hot Mess of the Week

''Speaking of a chocolate-vanilla swirl, talk about your underwear...'' That's Isaac Mizrahi working Queen Latifah during his debut as a red-carpetbagger on E!'s Golden Globes preshow. There, the fashionista cluelessly proceeded to offend celebs...for about two hours. Among his achievements: grilling Eva Longoria on her bikini wax, asking Hilary Swank if she dresses differently now that she's single, informing Charlize Theron that she looked like a ''scary dyke with no teeth'' in recent roles, and — no, he didn't! — grabbing Scarlett Johansson's breast. Somewhere even Star Jones was cringing.