After being kicked off a play by Woody Allen (who quipped, ''You look retarded''), Dinner and a Movie ex-cohost Annabelle Gurwitch tapped celeb friends for similarly embarrassing stories of being canned and collected them in Fired! (Touchstone, $19.95). Match the star to their ignominious end.
PATRICIA HEATON
TIM ALLEN
FELICITY HUFFMAN
MORGAN SPURLOCK
TATE DONOVAN
A After graduating from film school and volunteering free services to a local no-budget movie, fell fast asleep against a wall and was tossed off set by the producer, who scolded, ''I'm not paying you to sleep.''
B ''The first time I was fired was from a pilot with Ed Asner called Thunder Alley. Sometimes when you're acting, you think you suck and you don't, but this time I thought I sucked and I actually did!''
C During college, was a popular DJ at a local disco. After declining a promotion to management (to focus on classes), was told by a new supervisor, ''I'm going to let you go. You're talented...people like you. I hate popular people.''
D Was cast in the film version of Torch Song Trilogy, then replaced by Matthew Broderick. Back in New York, discovered the bulk of the film was being shot in front of his building. Proceeded to call police to complain about the noise.
E Spent about six months greeting customers at a busy restaurant before depression (and a subsequent lack of personal hygiene) caused the eatery's owner to say one night, ''You don't need to come back.''
Answers: Heaton, E; Allen, C; Huffman, B; Spurlock, A; Donovan, D.
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